When Eddie Murphy Interviewed Colonel Gaddafi
A captivating short story
Eddie Murphy planned to secretly arrive in Libya for a short movie he and a couple of Arab film directors had been working on for some years. They badly needed a Middle East location, and when the chance of using a place in Tripoli came up, they had jumped at it without any hesitation.
They landed in Tripoli on the same day Colonel Gaddafi handed over Al-Megrahi for prosecution over the Lockerbie terrorist attack. It was the period when Libya was engaging in reconciliatory moves towards normalizing its previously difficult and complex relations with the West: there were reports of Colonel Gaddafi vowing to abandon his plan to develop weapons of mass destruction; the Libyan government then was making serious efforts to compensate victims of its past misdeeds; in fact, nations in the West were gladly considering re-admitting Libya to the United Nations as a reciprocity for the country’s good gestures.
After a warm shower and a glass of lemonade in hand, Eddie Murphy waded to the French window of his hotel room to have a prolonged view of the Arab world under his gaze. He saw women mill around in long flowing robes, with their heads covered with hijab. Some of them even blindfolded themselves that their faces were hidden from men around them. Eddie Murphy turned away dissatisfied. He slumped on the soft couch in his suite and switched on the cable TV. He was relieved to see beautiful and smiling faces of Libyan female newscasters. He believed he had no problem with anyone’s religion or culture, but he thought such pretty faces shouldn’t be hidden from people that would appreciate them. Suddenly, he roared into laughter as his own thought amused him. He wanted to take a sip from his glass half-filled with lemonade when the intercom on the stool beside the couch began to scream loudly.
He grabbed it, thinking it was a call from one of his Arab associates or a piece of information or a reminder from the front desk’s clerks.
“Yeah,” Eddie murmured.
“Let me begin by saying welcome to my great country, Libya!” Came a totally unfamiliar voice. With stilted and coarse accent.
“Er…thank you,” Eddie Murphy stammered. “Who am I speaking with, please?” he asked.
“Hahahaha,” the roaring laughter lasted about two minutes. “It is me, Colonel Gaddafi, the leader of the Libyan people,” Came the most surprising announcement.
The telephone receiver shook in Eddie Murphy’s hand; not knowing exactly what to say, he said “really?”
“That’s very true, Mr. Murphy,” Colonel Gaddafi said. “I know it’s time for you to sleep. I am happy to invite you over for lunch tomorrow at my Palace. Is that ok for you?” Colonel Gaddafi asked.
“Yes, yes, Sir,” Eddie Murphy was disconcerted. How could he dare say no to a president’s invitation when he was going to pass two nights in his country!
“Ok, Eddie, see you tomorrow. I’ll order my driver to come and pick you up tomorrow. Goodnight,” Colonel Gaddafi said and hung up.
Eddie Murphy’s hand was as heavy as a bar of iron after speaking with the Leader of Libya. At that moment, there were tons of questions turning up in his mind, but he tried to suppress them so that he could enjoy a good sleep after a very long flight.
The presidential limousine arrived shortly after 10 a.m., and Eddie Murphy, accompanied by his Arab associates headed to Colonel Gaddafi’s expansive Presidential Palace. Their host, Colonel Gaddafi was at the doorstep to welcome them in person. They followed him into his garishly decorated guest hall. Eddie Murphy tried to maintain his trademark smiling face, even though he was shocked about the whole incident.
Why did the Colonel want to meet with him? Eddie had had no doubt that the Libyan Intelligence was the one responsible for leaking his secret trip to Gaddafi. At this time, Gaddafi was notoriously interested in courting famous Europeans and Americans, and he could have demanded to host Eddie Murphy for a possible photo opportunity. The Colonel had been doing anything possible to paint himself the picture of a refined friend of the West by buddying up with some Western models, actors and celebrities.
Once Eddie Murphy came into his tastefully decorated living room that was adorned with golden furniture, piano and shining chandeliers, Colonel swept toward his guest with unsuspected cordiality. Was he the cruel leader he had read and heard a lot about? Eddie began to wonder as Gaddafi’s giant hand engulfed his in a very warm handshake, a slight smile played in the corner of the Colonel’s mouth. This was friendliness at its best, Eddie Murphy believed.
After being treated to Libyan delicatessen inside a tent spread out on the tennis court behind the Presidential Palace, Eddie Murphy didn’t spend much time with his host after he had taken a photograph standing beside the Colonel.
Eddie Murphy didn’t get the chance to meet with the Colonel again until during the Arab Spring political upheaval that began in Libya on February 15, 2011, grounded almost every economic activity in this small North African country. Eddie Murphy was on a personal mission to defuse the tension and persuaded Colonel Gaddafi, his new friend, to treat his subjects with impunity.
But instead of directly urging Colonel Gaddafi to embrace peace with his people and the international community, Eddie disguised like he had come to interview the Libyan Leader for a possible publication in a magazine.
EDDIE: Thank you, Mr. President for having me.
GADDAFI: It’s my pleasure but keep your interview quite brief. I have got an urgent official issue to attend to in twenty minutes.
EDDIE: No problem, Your Excellency. So, let’s start with the civil war currently dividing your country along ethnic lines….
GADDAFI: Civil war? My friend, there is no civil war here; it is just a matter of a father discipling his wayward children.
EDDIE: But people are dying?
GADDAFI: Yes, they signed their own death warrant. I had seriously warned them before now.
EDDIE: And you are not worried about how other world leaders would perceive your actions? They think you are killing your people!
GADDAFI: That’s not true. My friends in the African Union, Arab League and elsewhere know that no one can sleep peacefully when his or her roof is on fire! One has got no option but to take a decisive action.
EDDIE: But the Arab League is talking of imposing a no-fly zone over your country.
GADDAFI: And you believe they can do it? How many Arab countries have powerful military, except Egypt and us?
EDDIE: People in the West thought you have changed this belligerent stance on issue when you renounced sponsoring terrorist organizations and ended your weapon-of- mass-destruction program. Or did you just give those up for economic reasons?
GADDAFI: I am afraid you have little knowledge of how we operate in this country. To answer your question, read more about our history: we are warriors, and we never cave in to please any foreign oppressors.
EDDIE: So, how do you want to handle Benghazi?
GADDAFI: Benghazi is part of this country, and we will bring them back to our union in peace or by force.
EDDIE: Do you have friends in other countries that you receive advice from?
GADDAFI: Of course! My friends are fellow revolutionaries — people who wrestle powers from foreign oppressors to bring liberty to their people, like I did in the 70s. I greatly admire people like Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe, Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, Fidel Castro of Cuba, Nelson Mandela, and so on.
EDDIE: Have you ever thought of retirement?
GADDAFI: No, not all. A warrior doesn’t retire as civilians do; we die as martyrs! By the way, I need to go now. And I wish you can continue to act in films and stop working as a journalist, because your questions are annoying and undiplomatic.
EDDIE: I am sorry, Mr. President. Do you know any of my films?
GADDAFI: Of course, I know The Nutty Professor!
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After the interview, James Powell woke up with a start. It was hard for him to believe that he had been dreaming for what seemed like half an hour. He felt so good that Eddie Murphy, his hero, had shown up in his dreams. And Gaddafi, too, a man he dreaded so much because of his erratic behavior. His fear and dislike for the Colonel reached the highest level when he proposed that all African countries should unite to form one United States of Africa, USA, with himself as the first head of that USA.
As an undergraduate at the University of Lagos, studying Mass Communications, James Powell had always wondered how hard it would be to get the chance of interviewing a sitting president. He and his classmates had made series of efforts to interview the current Nigerian President, but all to no avail. They made countless appointments for the purpose only to be told that the President would be unavailable due to his very busy schedule. For three years in a row, all their efforts had ended in absolute failures.
But he felt dismay at the easiness with which Eddie Murphy had picked up the chance of interviewing even the most misunderstood leader in Africa — Colonel Gaddafi. Does one need to be a celebrity before achieving anything in this world? James wondered.
He quickly got up from his bed and ran to take a hot shower as the clock on his bedroom’s wall announced that his first lecture for the day would come up in another two hours.
“When Eddie Murphy Interviewed Colonel Gaddafi” is one of the 12 short stories included in my thesis for a Master of Fine Arts (MFA) in Creative Writing Program. The MFA was awarded in 2013.
